Wednesday, May 13, 2009

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck....

..if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

This is my kind of critical thinking.
I can handle questions like this, and the silly answers that emanate from them.

This question, however, threw me for a loop.

"What plan would you propose to ensure that every human on the planet would receive their recommended daily allowance of protein?"

Um..... oh, wait.... I know this one..... no, just give me a second....

Oh, but wait....there's more!
Part two of that question:

"What human traits would you have to change to make your plan possible?"

Are you kidding me? What kind of question is that?

Oh. High School Honors Science Class homework questions. Of course.

Seriously, I don't remember anything from any science class I ever took in my life.** I even had to take Physical Science twice at BYU, and barely scraped by with a D+ to pass. I have long since come to accept the fact that the left side of my brain was deformed in childhood or something, because I don't really do a whole lot of math, either, or any kind of thinking that requires deep, concentrated thought. But as I seem to have learned how to function using solely my right brain in life, I'll leave all these kinds of questions to the left-brainers to solve.

Okay, I know that's a cop-out. Especially when my genius, brilliant daughter comes to me and asks for help with her homework. To which I have to respond on a daily basis, "I have no idea. Go ask your dad."

So she does. And Roy launches into a thirty minute political discussion about how this question is obviously the result of a left-wing government trying to brain wash our children into thinking something-something about economics and blah-blah-blah about international law.

Seriously, my brain turned off about two minutes into the discussion. I had no idea what he was talking about.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??

I have to admit, I live in this little bubble that encompases entertaining my four year old, managing a household, maintaining a home business, making sure clothes fit people, preparing a lesson for ten five-year-olds every Saturday night, and sharing my innermost thoughts with the world (at least, 24 of you) here on my blog. And that's about it. (And when I put it that way, that sounds really pathetic...and almost depressing.)

Sometimes I wish I could be more interested in current events, or world news, or politics or anything, just so I could hold my own in an intelligent conversation with other adults.

But in the meantime, I know everything there is to know about My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake. Go ahead. Ask me anything. I KNOW IT ALL.....

**Actually, I remember one thing: Sophomore Biology Class. We had to memorize the Animal Classification order, and my friend (who's now a high school biology teacher) and I came up with this little saying:

"Keep People Completely Off Free Grass Samples."

Which is code for:
"Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species".

I've never forgotten that, and I never will. Next year, I'll be able to help Sara with this ONE thing for homework!


TODAY'S WORKOUT:
ONE HOUR WORKOUT TAPE!!
Yeeaaaahhhh.....talk about sore! I borrowed this DVD from the library, and I don't think I'm ever going to return it. I'm just gonna' keep on renewing it, week after week, until somebody figures out that they're never going to get it back, and they'll charge my account $17.99 and a set of Ginsu knives. I felt so good (in a painful kind of way) when I was done this morning, that I threw out half a plate of cinnamon rolls, without so much as single lick of that yummy, crystallized vanilla glaze. Sshhh! Don't tell Roy!

13 Happy thoughts:

Kaylynn said...

You're changing the world! One child at a time--it's the only way it can be done!

I'm going to try your goal. I can't use the computer until I've exercised--I will see how it works!

Annette Lyon said...

Crap. My son will be in high school next year. This is what I get to look forward to? :)

Heidi Ashworth said...

I really don't want to know how much I don't know. It scares me.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I used "King Philip Came Over From Germany Sunday" and I've never forgotten either.

And I think you should totally answer that question using examples from STrawberry Shortcake and My little Pony. That's real life too.

T said...

For the record: I Scored an A in BYU Phys Sci... but I didn't even UNDERSTAND those questions!!!

By the way - a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as he could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Barbaloot said...

Um, is it just me, or did that seem like a Miss America question? Changing human trains?! Really?

Michelle said...

I was just thinking about how my mental capacities have changed since I've been away from work and school these past few years. I have to remind myself that there is a time and a season for things. Right now, I'm content to be Mom.

Savannah said...

Wow! I feel the same way! I don't have a teenager asking me these intense questions, but sometimes I just feel like I can't contribute to conversations and somehow I missed something! Right side brain! Oh well! So how did she answer the protein question??

Sue Q said...

(This is not Sue. This is Sara, who she is talking about.)I answered the question "the way they wanted me to". The actual article was basically about how we feed mucho food to cows, they don't make enough food for us, we need to eat less beef and more grain and become vegetarian. (I'm serious. The author just said it more politely and with numbers.) Anyway, I answered that "we need to eat less meat and more grain, and the human trait that makes it possible is our ability to change". And guess what? We didn't even turn this homework in today!

Camille said...

Whaaa....? Wow. This is why I didn't take any kind of advanced classes, way too much thinking for my liking.

Krystal said...

I feel like you, living in a little bubble. I never know about current events, politics, etc. And, when Rachel has tough questions like that on her science homework, I'll go say, "Ask your dad" too. It sounds like Sara came up with a good answer.

Krystal said...

P.S. Congratulations on your workout success! You are doing great! Glad you found a good DVD to get in shape with!

Anne Q said...

Ive never been good with tongue twisters, even typing them or virtually. So all I'm going to say is that the answer to that question is yes
(I looked it up just for you!).