Every party needs a pooper, that's why we invited....me.

Okay, I have written three different drafts of today's post (some serious, some scathing, and one where I tried to be funny and failed), and even though I have completely blown my ten-minute limit with this, but I have to say it:

I don't like April Fools' Day.

I know, I know, you're all starting to think I'm a communist or something. First, Valentine's Day, now April Fools' -- next, you're all going to start thinking I don't believe in Santa Claus.

Seriously, I've never really enjoyed pranking. I've been on the receiving end of many a prank in my day, mostly harmless, but as the youngest of five, I had to endure my share of torment and torture 24/7, 365 days a year. I certainly did not relish one whole day dedicated to the sport! And as for my peers, well, honestly, who thinks a p.e. locker stuffed with Size double D brassieres as harmless when you were a sixteen year old string bean? (No, I did not get a picture !)

Yeah, I still haven't gotten over all that.

In any case, I have also pulled my share of pranks. Again, mostly harmless, but the one that nearly got me sent home from Girls Camp pretty much turned the tide. It wasn't anything akin to the Parent Trap or anything that destructive, but still, it offended so many people, and mostly people whose respect I valued and opinion of me went right down the tubes. (Yeah, I haven't gotten over that, either....)

From that moment, I vowed that I would never prank again. Never again would I act without thinking about the consequences, or how my actions would affect someone else's feelings toward me.

Thankfully, however, the Girls Camp definition of "pranking" has changed. There is something in the adrenaline rush about running around after dark, stealthily trying to surprise a friend with some funny prank or other, wrapping their cabin with Saran Wrap, or covering their windows with black butcher paper so when they wake up in the morning they think it's still night time. We have tried to promote the "Positive Pranking" that promotes only good feelings, like giving somebody a "heart attack" and covering their room with colored cut out hearts with Hershey Kisses glued on. Or "Mooning" a cabin (again, with the cut out moons and starbursts glued on), or "Egging" (plastic eggs filled with jelly beans scattered all over the floor), and so forth and so on.

The best prank ever, as far as I'm concerned, happened a few years ago. At 6:30 a.m., I woke up one morning to my radio alarm clock, which had been set to my favorite radio station as usual. Now, I am NOT a morning person by any stretch of the imagination, but I loved the two radio personalities that woke me up every day with their wit and sarcasm and wild range of loud and raucous music. They helped me get a great start on my day, and at least, I could look forward to that.

Until this day.

I hadn't been paying attention to the calendar lately, otherwise I might have been prepared for this, but imagine my shock when, instead of Huey Lewis and the News, I woke up to ....

Randy Travis.

Now, don't get offended, all you country music lovers, but it was a rude awakening. Literally. I was not expecting twangy, slangy, "Honky Tonk Moon" to rouse me from my slumber. In fact, I sat straight up in my bed and stared at my alarm clock in horror and disbelief. Did I get the wrong station? Did somebody mess with my alarm clock? I checked the dial and sure enough, 101.9 FM. I was crushed. My favorite radio station had gone.... gulp.... country!

Finally, when he could stand it no longer, Roy reached over and picked up the alarm clock, ready to sling it across the bedroom, when the announcer interrupted the song mid way with an ear piercing scream,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!
APRIL FOOLS', EVERYBODY!"

We laughed so hard -- after we sighed with relief, of course.
Best joke ever.